Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I have fence marks all over my body
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Congratulations! We have a period
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
