I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
