I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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