This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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