u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
