I'm so fucking centered right now
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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