If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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