did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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