my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
