I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
