i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
