My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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