As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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