He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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