is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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