Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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