Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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