I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
