im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize