Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
