Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
