Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
