I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
