It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You're like the curious george of whores
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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