He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
