My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
