...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
