Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
