dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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