All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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