Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
