Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
