Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize