Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
