When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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