Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
