I have demons in me.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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