Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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