sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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