I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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