careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
