Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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