I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
