Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
