I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
