we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
