I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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