I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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