what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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