Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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