Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Damn victory sex feels great
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