Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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