people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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