She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
