Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
