I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
