I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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