I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
