Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
