my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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