My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
