I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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