Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
