Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i barfeds in our rink
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
