i permit you to call me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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