YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
