Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
